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Ducks and stuff
Thursday, February 7
hm, my blog is like a dried up well. actually, that's not a good analogy because you take water out of wells. so, my blog is like one of those big fountains, except no one throws pennies in it. blog people blog!i think i know why the fear of rejection from college is so horrific. i have, in the past few weeks, been plagued with depressing dreams and tormented thoughts of "what if i wrote that one little thing wrong on my application and it ruins my whole chance?" it's because it's the fear that all these years of school, with the many hours of studying and homework and blasted SAT prep and extracurricular activities, i could be rejected from a great school, and all that time and energy could have been spent goofing off and i might as well not have done all that work. i could have just slept my way through high school and still get into an ok school. and if i get rejected from the top schools, what was the point of taking the sat and its derivatives 5 times and spending all that money and taking the honors classes and working hard? i know it's suppposed to mean more than just getting into college, but i can't help but be paranoid that countless hours will have been absolutely worthless. i really really hope that i won't have to think, "man, i could have not cared." i mean, it would have resulted in the same thing.
what i just wrote is not all that coherent, but oh well. it makes sense in my head. and now i have to go write a soliloquy.